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this is it :
3 EASIEST WAYS TO DIE;
1. have a cigarette daily
- you'll die 10 years earlier.
2.Drink alcohol daily.
- you'll die 30 years earlier.
3. Love someone who doesn't love you back.
-you'll die daily.
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You hit your little toe against a table..
At age 7: ''ohhhhh oww''
At age 10: ''ahhhhhhh stup table''
Age 13: ''SHIT!!!!''
Age 16: ''You stupid mother#$%#$ing #$%#$ ass piece of shit'' (breaks table)
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Go to google translate and type in : 좀 더 아니 내 항문을 기다려 씨발 아파 on Korean to English. Like if you laughed.
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Boy: I love you
Girl: Prove it! Scream to the world that you love me
Boy: *whispers* I love you
Girl: Why'd you whisper it to me?
Boy: 'Cause YOU ARE MY WORLD!<3 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- gf ; what would you do if i broke up with you . bf ; i would go back to my ex . gf ; ( crying ) im breakin up with you . * many hours later .* bf ; will you go out with me ? gf ; i thought you were going to your ex . bf ; you are my ex . (: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Listening to someone's story and thinking lie, lie, lie and lie. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hi I'm 19 years old, My mother found an orange tabby cat under a trailer with a missing leg and no tail. My father does not like the cat and says "no one will ever love it." Please prove my father wrong and if 10000 people like this, my father will agree to keep the cat living with me. Please. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Like if you think this boy is very handsome! --------> http://www.facebook.com/l.f.rully <--------
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Girl Aged 13 Loses Her Virginty Everywunn Thinks SLUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUT
Boy Aged 13 Loses His Virginity Everywunn Thinks FUCKING LEGEND!!!!!!!
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The best way to avoid disappointment is to not expect anything from anyone
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Girl: So is it gonna be me, or her?
Boy: If you loved me, you wouldn't make me choose.
Girl: If you loved me, there wouldn't even be an option.
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1994. Birth of justin bieber.
1995. Death of Eazy E.
1996. Death Tupac.
1997. Death of Biggie
4 of the most horrible years ever
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A student comes to a young professor's office. She glances down the hall, closes his door, kneels pleadingly.
"I would do anything to pass this exam."
She leans closer to him, flips back her hair, gazes meaningfully into his eyes.
"I mean.." she whispers, "..I would do ANYTHING!!"
He returns her gaze. "Anything??"
"Yes,.. Anything!" She says.
His voice turns to a whisper. "Would you.. study??"
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girl: I love J.B. <3
boy: OMG SO DO I!!
girl: He's so sexy!
boy: Um...
girl: He's so hot! <3
boy: WTF?
girl: And he can do everything!
boy: Well, that I agree with.
girl: Justin Bieber is so cute!!
boy: Oh, I thought you were talking about Jack Black. =/
girl: ...
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Like if you have ever done one of these things...
1. Gone up a down escalator
2. Tried to make a fish follow your finger
3. Gone in the fridge for no reason
4. Stared at someone to see if they would realise
5. Pretended to drive when in the passengers seat
6. Played air guitar madly
7. (Boys only) Become addicted to COD
8. Watched water droplets fall down a window to see who would win
9. Picked everything off a pizza
10. Laughed at a random memor
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Justin Bieber: hey dad i just had my first time having sex....
Dad: really?? thats awesome son!! any questions??
Justin Bieber: yeah, when will my ass stop hurting??
Dad:.......................
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your fourteen. you smoke, cigarettes and weed. you drink. your not a virgin, your boyfriends 18. you dress like a slut, because the older girls do. you swear, because it makes you look cool. i bet your parents are proud.
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"Dear 'real girls', stop complaining about 'fake girls', they aren't fake
Dear 'fake girls', stop complaining about 'real girls', they aren't jealous
Dear boys, shut up about girls complaining about you, we aren't all doing it!
Dear girls, stop complaining about boys, they aren't all jerks
Dear World. Stfu, grow up and stop complaining about each other. "
Dear ironic idiot, stop complaining about people complaining.
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that SUCKISH feeling you get when you wake up and look at your phone, noticing that you missed a message from the person you'd been waiting for the longest to text you.
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Dear Guys,
Stop hating on Justin Bieber.
You know you're only jealous.
You say he sounds like a little kid?
Well, when his first few songs came out, he WAS a little kid.
You say he looks like a fag?
Let's see what you look/looked like at 15-16.
He's rich, famous, talented, and has girls (of ALL ages) screaming his name.
Now let's look at your life.
And you say it's not jealousy? Riiiiight.
Sincerely,
A Realist.
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I'm just waiting for that amazing day..when EMINEM gets pissed..and insults JUSTIN BIEBER lyrically on one of his songs.
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There is a "lie" in believe, "over" in lover, "end" in friend, and an "if" in life. And after Monday and Tuesday even the calendar says W.T.F.
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* 1:00 a.m. * Get up, walk calmly to the bathroom, pee, look in the mirror quickly to make sure there's no masked killer behind you, turn off the lights, run as fast as you can from the bathroom back into your bedroom and jump 2 feet in the air and land on the bed, pull the covers up to your chin and glance around the room to make sure you didn't leave any more killers behind you on your expedition back, relax and nuzzle back into your pillow.
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without my cell phone i wouldn't:
1. know what time it is
2. be able to solve a math equation
3. know a single phone number
4. know the date
5. be able to text my friend when i'm at their house
6. take a snap shot at a picture perfect time
7. be able to wake up from an alarm in the morning
8. find my way in the dark
basically, i wouldn't be able to live.
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A guy in a romantic mood says to his girlfriend: I want to be a part of your body.
She replies: no thanks, I already have an asshole
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Teacher: Were learning the ABC today.
Student: Miss, can i go toilet please?
Teacher: No.
Student: Okay.
5 mins later..
Boy: Can i go toilet now please miss?
Teacher: In a minute.
Student: Okay miss.
Minute later..
Student: Can i go now?
Teacher: Say the ABC first.
Student: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O Q R S T U V W X Y Z.
Teacher: Where's the letter P?
Student: It's running down my leg miss.
Like if you get it :L
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Ask me if I'm a Wizard..
no.
Ask me if I'm a Wizard..
no.
Ask me if I'm a Wizard..
no.
Ask me if I'm a Wizard..
no.
Ask me if I'm a Wizard..
no.
Ask me if I'm a Wizard..
no.
Ask me if I'm a Wizard..
no.
Ask me if I'm a Wizard..
no.
Ask me if I'm a Wizard..
no.
Ask me if I'm a Wizard..
no.
Ask me if I'm a Wizard..
no.
Ask me if I'm a Wizard..
Ok.. Are you a Wizard?
No, I'm just
A man buys a lie detector robot that slaps people who lie.
He decides to test it at dinner.
DAD: Son, where were you today during school hours?
SON: At school
*Robot slaps Son*
SON: OK,I went to the movies.
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When a girl cry's for a boy it means she really misses him..
When a boy cry's for a girl, it means no other person will ever love the girl how he did. <3 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- --> facebook.com/profile.php?=182349432 <-- this person is a slut!
Like if you get it :)
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Go to Google Translate
Type in "Will justin bieber ever reach puberty"
Do English to Vietnamese
Copy the Vietnamese words
Paste them into the text box replacing the English words
Do Vietnamese to English
Like if you laughed!
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I wrote your name on a piece of paper,
but by accident i threw it away.
I wrote your name on my hand,
but it washed away.
I wrote your name in the sand,
but the waves whispered it away.
I wrote your name in my heart,
and forever it will stay. <3
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Your car is Japanese. Your Vodka is Russian. Your pizza is Italian. Your kebab is Turkish. Your democracy is Greek. Your coffee is Brazilian. Your movies are American. Your Beers are German. Your shirt is Indian. Your oil is Saudi Arabian. Your electronics are Chinese. Your numbers -Arabic, your letters -Latin. And you complain that your neighbor is an immigrant? Like if you're against racism.
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Learn Chinese in 5 minutes! (say it out loud ;D )
1. Thats not right
(Sum Ting Wong)
2. See me ASAP
(Kum Hia Nao)
3. Small horse
(Tai Ni Po Ni)
4. You need a facelift
(Chin tu fat)
5. I thought you were on a diet
(Wai Yu Mun Ching)
6. He's cleaning the car
(Wa Shing Ka)
7. Your body odour is offensive
(Yu Stin Ki Pu)
8. This is a tow away zone
(No Pah Ki
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If I have curves, I'm fat. If I wear make-up, I'm fake. If I like to dressed up, I'm a hoochie. If I say what I think, I'm a bitch. If I cry sometimes, I'm a drama queen. If I have guy friends, I'm a slut. If I stand up for myself, I'm mouthy. Seems like you can't do anything now a days without being labeled. So what? Go ahead and label me.
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A girl dropped her pencil while sitting next to her bf...
She glanced at his phone while he was texting a message that said "I love you"...
The girl jumped up and called him every name she could think of and left the room...
The message was to his mother!
She didn't listen and left him...
He killed himself because she left him...
She killed herself because he killed himself...
Moral of the story: Don't drop you pencil!
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*Son breaks the TV*
Dad: WTF DID U DO?
son: don't tell mom
Dad: I wont
son: why?
*Mom walks up*
Dad: GET BACK IN THE KITCHEN
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click like , then click ctrl w and your facebook will turn neon colours :D
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facebook:..
-Log on
-Check notifications
-Poke everyone back
-Go on homepage
-Do the "happy birthday" ritual
-Go back to homepage
-Change from "Top news" to "Most recent"
-Have a little scroll down
-Like a couple of pages
-You're bored already...
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dad: hey son have you seen my pills? they were labeled LSD.
son: never mind the pills, have you seen the yeti in the lounge?!
dad: -_-
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10 things a typical teenage girl can"t live without...
1. A Mobile Phone
2. A Laptop or Computer with internet access
3. Headphones
4. A Warm Hoodie
5. Music
6. A Facebook, Msn, or YouTube account
7. Sleep
8. Unlimited Texts
9. Hair Straighteners
10. Reality TV
Like this if you can"t live without at least one of these things!!
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Don't poke people on facebook.
Poking leads to commenting.Commenting leads to talking on chat. Talking on chat leads to inboxing. Inboxing leads to meeting up. Meeting up leads to going out. Going out leads to sex. Sex leads to babys.
So unless you want to have babys, don't poke people.
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Have you ever wondered why A,B,C,D,DD,E,F,G, and H are the letters used to define bra sizes?
If you have wondered why but couldn't figure out what the letters stood for, it is about time you became informed!
{A} Almost Boobs.?
{B} Barely there.
{C} Can't Complain.
{D} Dang!
{DD} Double dang!
{E} Enormous!
{F} Fake.
{G} Get a Reduction.
{H} Help me, I've fallen and I can't get up!
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*DORA*
Dora: "Can YOU see the bridge?!"
*awkward silence as Dora stares into the audience*
us: "O MY GOD, DORA ITS RIGHT THERE U STUPID RETARD!!!!!! LOOK BEHIND YOU!!!!!"
*Dora still stares at you*
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3 am phone call.."hey are you asleep??" ...."No I'm Skydiving"..
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Rihanna- Oh, nana whats my name?
Eminem -Why are you asking me whats your name ?
Rihanna-Oh shut up and drive!
Eminem - Sure ....I need to get out to an store but It Is raining!
Rihanna - Then get under my Umbrella jerk!
Eminem - Who do you think you are ?
Rihanna - Only girl In the world!
Eminem - No you are not!
Rihanna - Oh ...I love the way you lie!!!
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American: "Oh wow you're from Australia!"
Australian: "Yeah"
American: "Do you like ride a Kangaroo to school?"
Australian: "I don't know, do you like ride a fat person to school?"
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monday- KILL ME NOW!
tuesday- hurry up friday!
wednesday- only two more days
thursday-Almost There!!
friday-YAY! stayin up tonight!
saturday- sleep all day
sunday- make the most out of the day because tomorrow is monday -_-
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BOY: you know, you are A B C D E F G H I J K?
GIRL: what does it mean?
BOY: Attractive, Brilliant, Cute, Dazzling, Elegant, Funny, Gorgeous, Hot!
GIRL: so sweet! how about I J K?
BOY: I'm Just Kidding!
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the good old days when Saturday morning started with cartoons not headaches
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Fact 1; You can't touch your bottom lip with your tongue.
Fact 2; You just tried it.
Fact 3; Your laughing.
99% of idiots would have tried that.
Like if your one of them!
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You post a status from a song. You get 15 likes. 5 of the people who liked it like the song, 2 of them like the singer, 3 of them like the title of the song, 5 of them want to fuck you.
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Parents spend 2 years teaching their child to walk and talk and then spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut up.
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I LOVE LIFE, I WANT TO LIVE FOREVER!
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i like you, you like me.
i want to be with you, you want to be with me.
i won't hurt you. so please don't hurt me..
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Girl:Am I pretty?
Boy:No
Girl:Wahh..am I sexy?
Boy:No
Girl:Wahh..Am I fun to be with?
Boy:No.
Girl:Do you love me?
Boy:No.
Girl:I'm not pretty..I'm beautiful aren't I?
Boy:No you're a fat whore..I'd be surprised if your parents loved you..go die.
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hearing yourself sing in the shower and wondering why the fuck you havent made an album yet.
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dad: where's the paper towels?
son: there over here in this bag
dad: throw em'over here
son: *thows them*
dad: ouch!,..... mother fucker you hit me in the dick!!!!!
son: sorry
dad: your're lucky it wasnt hard!!........ i mean this thing not my dick!!!
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Girl gets a new bf.
1 month. "HE'S MY WORLD."
They break up.
"I gave him everything!"
Another new bf.
1 month. "HE MEANS EVERYTHING TO ME."
They break up.
ANOTHER BF.
1 week. "I love him more than life itself."
Repeat process 20 times.
Did you ever really love ANY of them, or are you a fucking IDIOT that has no standards or patience!?
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Dad : Son i think its time we had the talk.
Son : Dad i already know all about sex
Dad : Fuck no i was gonna talk about prestiging on cod?
Son : ...........Go on
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Lost your pen=no pen
No pen=no notes
Nonotes=no study
No study=Fail
Fail=no diploma
No diploma=no work
no work=no money
no money=no food
no food=you get skinny
you get skinny=then you get ugly
Ugly=no love
no love=no marriage
no marriage=no children
no children= alone
alone=depression
depression=sickness
sickness=death
Lesson: Don’t lose your pen, you will die.. :P
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skinny girls think there chubby, chubby girls think there fat, fat girls think there obeise, and obeise girls think there supermodels
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karena terlalu byk jd sekian dulu episode kali ini
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